Secretly and quietly, every year since 2001, my heart floats out of my body and meets you in a space that death is not powerful enough to part...I will always love you...you taught me true love and boundless friendship. You kept GOD in our house. You championed, challenged and communicated with my spirit in ways that have changed me forever. You were a great husband, father, friend...gone before we could get our footing. My heart breaks when I think of how important everyone was to you, how purposefully you chose to live, how huge your capacity to love, your generous nature and yet, how you were taken away so senselessly. there are no coincidences. Our time was without time! people always expect widows to be sad...but when I think of you, I'M SO GRATEFUL for your life...sooooo grateful to be the only woman you married and the last woman you loved.
8/23/ every year
Thursday, August 23, 2018
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Haiku
how can i cure you
make you consider me now
is your heart ASLEEP?
her mind races fast
she scans his face for comfort
ha! nothing is there...
looks for a mirror.
touches lips, belly and neck
tears fall like feathers
2013
make you consider me now
is your heart ASLEEP?
her mind races fast
she scans his face for comfort
ha! nothing is there...
looks for a mirror.
touches lips, belly and neck
tears fall like feathers
2013
Thursday, July 26, 2018
I'm working on my language. How I speak to myself and about what I'm doing. My negativity is pointed out by those who care ( I only trust a very small few). It is the biggest form self sabotage (even in little ways). I tend to go there regularly when I'm stressed, feeling insecure about something or my money ain't right *insert Lucy cry.* I have hindered myself many times with this but I am determined to change. I keep pushing. You can't be positive to others and negative to yourself.
What I am most interested in is how we speak to each other. Do you use veiled compliments/supporting others as a passive aggressive attempt to take shots at others' successes? Are you condescending or belittling in your tone? How many times do we use humor to perpetuate the most triggering parts of body/ hair shaming, colorism, sexism etc in our everyday talk? With people we love? Many times it's brushed off with "it's not that serious." People are their histories. If I told you I was raped, don't use that language to describe ANYTHING EVER. If my friend is transitioning to natural hair, don't speak negatively about her hair and talk of another texture as better. If my brother is working on his weight, don't call him out of his name or remind him when he was bigger. Of course there are more examples but you get the point. Too many people get off on using the most hateful language and intentions in the name of love. Like they say, if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself. We need everyone strong and feeling good. At least the closest to it we can get. We got way too much work to do! We can't do it with weakened, beat down folk. Hold yourself accountable for what comes out of your mouth about yourself and others. Vibration is real. I'm tired of the hate all around. Some only see the big ways we shame, disrespect ourselves and each other but it is the small everyday ways that pile up and weigh us down from being our best selves. Too many of us hit below the belt regularly. Check yourself. I will be doing the same. Be gentle.🖤
What I am most interested in is how we speak to each other. Do you use veiled compliments/supporting others as a passive aggressive attempt to take shots at others' successes? Are you condescending or belittling in your tone? How many times do we use humor to perpetuate the most triggering parts of body/ hair shaming, colorism, sexism etc in our everyday talk? With people we love? Many times it's brushed off with "it's not that serious." People are their histories. If I told you I was raped, don't use that language to describe ANYTHING EVER. If my friend is transitioning to natural hair, don't speak negatively about her hair and talk of another texture as better. If my brother is working on his weight, don't call him out of his name or remind him when he was bigger. Of course there are more examples but you get the point. Too many people get off on using the most hateful language and intentions in the name of love. Like they say, if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself. We need everyone strong and feeling good. At least the closest to it we can get. We got way too much work to do! We can't do it with weakened, beat down folk. Hold yourself accountable for what comes out of your mouth about yourself and others. Vibration is real. I'm tired of the hate all around. Some only see the big ways we shame, disrespect ourselves and each other but it is the small everyday ways that pile up and weigh us down from being our best selves. Too many of us hit below the belt regularly. Check yourself. I will be doing the same. Be gentle.🖤
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
The only thing that stops me from deleting folk and shutting down completely is that I remember that community is all of these things: those who give and those who take, those who pray and those who won't, those who judge and those who lead, those who wait and those who can't... all of it and so much more make community. We should be angry, uncomfortable, confused. How else can we shift perspective? How else can we incite change? Community is that bridge that holds everyone's truth. How do we function? How do we build? What stays and what goes? Again, this is any city, at any time all over the world. Truth is truth. As Nina Simone sings, "The Time is Now. "
4/29/15
4/29/15
single mama warrior stance: poker face (smiles fit this category). big lady drawers. buckle up and buckle them in. create magic outta piece of string and a random button. act happier, less tired, more attentive. carry your own bags. carry a sleeping toddler. listen to teenage world like it's everything (bcuz it is). still feed folk. clean. no real rest.
:single mama small pockets of peace: a thought here and there, a song you love playing in someone's car reminding you of a different time, samples at Costco (the tall debonair fella who rushed to get his bread buttered so he could look you in the eye and taste with you at the same time...raisin walnut yummy lol), the ride to work (earphones or book), laundry day, when your patterns match without effort (a personal favorite), a shoe sale, the perfect lipstick, a colorful scarf, laughing with good friends, this random post...
:single mama destination: real, real rest. good, good love. to go beyond her biggest dreams. to see her children fly, too!
3/15
:single mama small pockets of peace: a thought here and there, a song you love playing in someone's car reminding you of a different time, samples at Costco (the tall debonair fella who rushed to get his bread buttered so he could look you in the eye and taste with you at the same time...raisin walnut yummy lol), the ride to work (earphones or book), laundry day, when your patterns match without effort (a personal favorite), a shoe sale, the perfect lipstick, a colorful scarf, laughing with good friends, this random post...
:single mama destination: real, real rest. good, good love. to go beyond her biggest dreams. to see her children fly, too!
3/15
remember who you are! stand up! spread yr legs and arms. holds yr head steady and center. close yr eyes. speak life into yrself. let it ooze up and down yr bloodstream. let it soothe yr bones. when you get yr the heart: fill those wounds with all the joy you know. all the joy you can hold. all the joy you see! the joy you can imagine. the impossible joy is sooo possible! let it overflow. raise yr head to the sky. open yr eyes! then go to a mirror. look into yr eyes and smile. feel yr heartbeat thru yr finger and toe nails, reach each strand of hair on yr body. now put on some music and dance!
8/9/15
8/9/15
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)