recordsremindme of lovers-

i aint from this time. justatravelinthru.
ima tightdress, redlip, updo,
slowdance, handhotonthesmallofmyback type.
samestory. sameshine. stillsearchin:
for whatsmine.

Secretly and quietly, every year since 2001, my heart floats out of my body and meets you in a space that death is not powerful enough to part...I will always love you...you taught me true love and boundless friendship. You kept GOD in our house. You championed, challenged and communicated with my spirit in ways that have changed me forever. You were a great husband, father, friend...gone before we could get our footing. My heart breaks when I think of how important everyone was to you, how purposefully you chose to live, how huge your capacity to love, your generous nature and yet, how you were taken away so senselessly. there are no coincidences. Our time was without time! people always expect widows to be sad...but when I think of you, I'M SO GRATEFUL for your life...sooooo grateful to be the only woman you married and the last woman you loved.


8/23/ every year

Haiku

how can i cure you
make you consider me now
is your heart ASLEEP?

her mind races fast
she scans his face for comfort
ha! nothing is there...

looks for a mirror.
touches lips, belly and neck
tears fall like feathers










2013

I'm working on my language. How I speak to myself and about what I'm doing. My negativity is  pointed out by those who care ( I only trust a very small few). It is the biggest form self sabotage (even in little ways). I tend to go there regularly when I'm stressed, feeling insecure about something or my money ain't right *insert Lucy cry.* I have hindered myself many times with this but I am determined to change. I keep pushing. You can't be positive to others and negative to yourself.
 What I am interested in is how do we speak to each other. Do you use veiled compliments/supporting others as a passive aggressive attempt to take shots at others' successes? Are you condescending or belittling in your tone? How many times do we use humor to perpetuate the most triggering parts of body/ hair shaming, colorism, sexism etc in our everyday talk? With people we love? Many times it's brushed off with "it's not that serious." People are their histories. If I told you I was raped, don't use that language to describe ANYTHING EVER. If my friend is transitioning to natural hair, don't speak negatively about her hair and talk of another texture as better. If my brother is working on his weight, don't call him out of his name or remind him when he was bigger. Of course there are more examples but you get the point. Too many people get off on using the most hateful language and intentions in the name of love. Like they say, if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself. We need everyone strong and feeling good. At least the closest to it we can get. We got way too much work to do! We can't do it with weakened, beat down folk. Hold yourself accountable for what comes out of your mouth about yourself and others. Vibration is real. I'm tired of the hate all around. Some only see the big ways we shame, disrepect  ourselves and each other but it is the small everyday ways that pile up and weigh us down from being our best selves. Too many of us hit below the belt regularly. Check yourself. I will be doing the same. Be gentle.🖤