full moon work. 12/18/2021

declutter. decolonize. deprioritize.

Haiku: Gen Xer uses the "others" option on IG

I like hiding likes

Who gives a fuck anyway

Feel me or lurk, dig?

Haiku

you could never see

inside of my heart, darling

your pain is too deep

Musing on Relationships 11.25.2017

Relationships take work and constant balance. No one is perfect. In fact, when you love someone, all of a sudden, those things buried deep within your psyche come to surface. Relationships are a mirror: your partner sees everything you try to hide, they see solutions you've been rolling in a circle to solve, they see the real you in its highest capacity. Years and years of a persona that you've survived on no longer work because your relationship forces you to confront the new you that is becoming. Many take conflict and revolving issues as proof that it is not meant to be. Quite the contrary: this is an opportunity to clean out the cobwebs and grow! It is not easy but necessary. Most forget during conflict, the wonderful things that brought you together, negate the magic that is created when love is in front. Well, I'm no punk. I'm not scared of who I am. I might be scared of the process, I might be guarded but I say that I would rather win the love of someone guarded but seeking to open up than someone fixed in their ways and stuck in everything that doesn't work. What does work? Which things that are mountains that you can reduce to molehills to have peace, harmony and support so that both individuals can thrive? Everything is not the end of the world! Spend more time loving up on each other. It's easier than you think... but you got to want it. If you don't, there is no reason to move forward. For me, each conflict or argument brings a deeper connection and insight into how to truly learn a person. The good times are great but do you have the emotional maturity to ride through individual shortcomings, stress,  sudden change and buried pain? Your mate is a mirror, they say. Are you willing to be imperfect, roll your sleeves up, get messy and evolve beyond your wildest dreams? Or do you expect fast food love? This QUEEN here is determined to have the very best from life. Whatever it takes. You either fuck with me or you don't. Period. 

Haiku for 11.21.2021

Sunset is copper

Then a little girl yelled, "Weeeee!"

Takes from the backyard

Musing

observations: some treat tricky people as if they are good and good people as if they are tricky. just tell the truth. folk love the shady folk that can get away with things. got an entourage sweatin them and whatnot. folk respect it. love to hear about someone bulldozing another for a spot. funny way we have redefined the hustle. used to be hard work, accountability and integrity. now that's seen as folks taking the long route. as being foolish. well, call me a fool. eff a tricky mofo. it costs way too much. plus you never know who you are dealing with. after a while, they don't either. y'all can keep those tricky ones. they have a pretty good run but when it's over, they crash and burn. sometimes they take you with them.  

Cancel Culture

Asking questions, have a different opinion, researching, changing your mind are not crimes. You can hold a popular opinion and still find inconsistencies. If we cancel everyone and coerce the others into group think, how do we expand? How do we advance? How will we know? How do we communicate? The folk who shut everything and everyone down also expect to be treated with unconditional respect and agency. How does that work?

PLANDEMIC

 magic trick: take healthy people and make em sick

Musing 11.5.2021

My love language is humanity. Is it in you? Can we build it? YOU create it. Each person has a choice. If you don't have it, you gotta dig to find it. Do you have it for yourselves? Is it being bred out with respect, common sense and reality?

We the people. We the product.

I hate that every question my son asks about the atrocities of the world, no matter what it is, always leads back to capitalism. WE ARE THE PRODUCT. Even our spiritual and emotional lives are commodified. Folk pay big money for our attention! The greedy, corrupt and immoral will have their day. They do not care who or what they kill or destroy. Some folk believe their privilege will protect them. The powers that be DO NOT CARE. 

There are so many wars at once, it's dizzying. It is also brilliant warfare to play both sides. Even got hand in all of the solutions. Look at all of us: cornered. If you are unemployed, you can get a job but at some superplant or helping billionaires become trillionaires. Some of y'all ain't telling the truth about how you are being coerced into falling in line and promoting certain agendas. Guess you gotta tell it to yourself first. So superficial and delusional yet criticize the youth for their version of the same. We are handing over our autonomy in so many ways. Who has been sleeping comfortably at night? 

I got so many words inside these words...we are willingly being tricked out of power. It is getting uglier and uglier. Roll up your sleeves, folks.

Outgrowing friends and spiritual war.

You know, there are some folk I absolutely love, who are really hard to get in touch with: I am ok with that fact. We are grown. Social media will deceive you into believing you have access to any one at any time. The natural pruning of relationships and spaces is now exaggeratedly warped into forced associations bonded with the past. That is ok, too. Get what you need. I prefer to send love while maintaining my square. I cannot operate in virtual world differently than my everyday plan for peace. That's personal and I owe nothing to anyone and neither do you. Protect your special need for a specific peace. Be relentless and heal. This is a spiritual war. The way out is within. Don't be distracted. 

Musing

i do not understand people who do not love. i understand pain but i am not a prisoner of it; poisoning all in my path. i choose to love thru pain. love heals masks & crevices & open wounds.

morning musing/first day of fall

FEET hurt (adj.):  a small price to pay for healing, when your feet have affected your heart.

lots of lessons

seeing loads blessings...

know who i am 

&what i got

i'm filled with a lot!

unresolved

ingrained

all the same:

i'll keep reaching-

i'm here to love!

we grow

bcuz we have to.

most things we think 

we know

change.

only truth

remains.

Musing: 7 years ago. How it should always be.

 I LOVE men who are so excited, honored and amazed by their woman! I love to watch true partnership. I'm filled watching fathers with their daughters and sons holding their mother's face like she's the most beautiful woman in the world. I love artists doing their thing! It's a breath of fresh air to watch love at work. Haters and emotionally blocked folk totally miss the point. Let LOVE, any love and all love affect hope in us all. Even if you don't have it like you want it, there's plenty of love to get and receive. Look in a mirror or baby's eyes or the sky. Life is for LOVE!

heart

I miss u so

heart

I know yr face

how can it stay

so serene yet

say so much

how beautiful

heart

moon out my window

I hear the sea

it lasts

forever...

Chér Jey, heart lady

8.30.11

meant to ripple & run

Two things can exist at the same time: deep love and deep disappointment. The invisible pact of dutiful daughters. Hard to write; harder to feel. Raw but real. So much work to heal.

It's hard to write. It's hard to think. Barely can create. The moment you realize that someone- who is supposed to take care of your heart, make you feel protected but never did- will come to you with their hands out and take and take and take as soon as you get your grounding. They say they love you. They know you, they say. They think they really do. Maybe this is the only love they know how to give. Not the love you've always craved.

They take when you have nothing left to give. Right after you pull yourself outta real danger. When you produce a miracle outta raw faith and prayers. Saved your family and yourself. You learn how much like your mother you really are, how strong she's had to be with no support. She still conditioned us to protect your image but told us nothing of how to protect our hearts. Like you are only here to serve no matter what. Like what you went through means nothing, like your slow death in front of your children is something so small compared to his immediate needs. Him first, even when you never were. You gotta be everything because he needs: mother, father, daughter, son, garbage man, caretaker, caregiver, cook, bread winner, sounding board, forgiver and forgetter of all things past. Sacrificial love starved. To hold up some invisible pact that daughters have.  Ask nothing/be indifferent of the hole you'll always have in your belly, the questions never asked, the questions asked but ignored, the questions met with loud, screaming indifference that highlights your flaws, not their responsibility. The accusations, the lessening of power, the lessoning of being, the cutting off of truth... unless you got something for them. Do something for them. Even bleed while doing it.
It ain't no room for you or creativity or the wellness from a safe space you fought for and created. All because you are nice, you care. You are fair. You are dutiful.
I'm not going down. I'm not going anywhere. I claim this space. I claim my place. Fuck with me and you'll really get to know me. I'm here for me. Be unevolved in your own space. Everybody has the right to be, in their own space.
I want the very best for us all, but not at my expense anymore. I choose me first. I love me more. Not on my watch. I ain't the long suffering type. 

Whatever you thoughtlessly take in the name of love, in the name of entitlement: I ain't going down. Fuck that. I am here. I am quite clear. Sorry ain't enough. Like you'd ever apologize. 

Fix it so I can forgive and forget it. Fix it. I hate that I understand it all. I give thanks for the awakening. Now go, so I can fix me and mines the way I like it. This is my time. Ain't no one gonna take it. Not even you. 

I still love you. I can't grow a grown up that ain't me or come from my womb. Painful and necessary work. The cycle stops here. 

I will walk through this wilderness equipped with truth, prayer and love.
You don't know me. I hope you do some day. It'll be the greatest healing. Fix it. I am a grown woman with childhood pain. Hidden and disregarded to keep the lines open.

To the one whose mistakes are always forgiven or placated: only you can change this dynamic. I can only change my mind and my loyalty. 

Fix it, so I won't transform into stone wall, cold heart, forced movements towards you. I don't wanna shut down. 

I accuse you of expecting a child's love but it's me still demanding protection, acknowledgement, real, tangible love. Selfless love. One where we all win and I benefit from your strength and wisdom. If I can't, I must choose accordingly. 

I'm not a girl with a burning throat and a silent voice. I'm a woman coming into her own on her own terms. 

Get to know who I am now. No more manipulation, no more passive agressiveness. No more thoughtlessly navigating though my exhaustion and pain for your benefit.
This is it. I'm spent. I need my whole head. Find out how to love me now.

Musing 8 years today and still relevant

some folk ask for things, money, love...but my simplest prayer that has the biggest impact in my life has been answered.

i'm always doing things. running around. trying to keep up with myself. trying to be everything. you ever get stuck from being overwhelmed? you know, when you are still doing the things that need to be done but in your quiet moments- your mind gives you more work, your body stops moving, your breath seems laborious...

so i asked the CREATOR to be realigned to my purpose with fire and energy...to still my spirit, so that the information can settle to its proper place and order...to celebrate whatever is the biggest thing I did the entire day (even as small as being present for the day, or one of those meaningful conversations we have with strangers and take it easy on myself)...to do something, anything related to all the things i've being blessed with knowing how to do (and do regardless of my circumstance or need to share) everyday, to be more conscious of my words and more authentic and honest, even if I have to self correct on the spot...to always keep my body moving no matter what...take as much time as I need for myself...BCUZ overdoers get stuck too!

i'm so grateful to be able to always pick up where i left off, as often as possible, without care of judgement or need of approval or permission, to live my life RIGHT NOW as beautifully as possible... I'M FEELING LIKE MYSELF AGAIN THANK YOU CREATOR❤

Watching the Game

the sister mama network is all things/ in everything. 

we sing signals & save souls. 

we know war. 

watch out.

Musing

Thinking is an underrated sport. Debate has become debacle.

Musing: Be a wall.

We tend to think of war as "POW POW." Yet isn't the best strategy to weaken the other side with traps, poison, spies, thievery? We often discount the spiritual war. We discount the numerous ways to break the spirit like attack the youth. Leave them hopeless. Profit off of their wins and advancements yet remind them of what they cannot achieve. No matter how great, no matter how innovative, no matter how unstoppable. We have not created sufficient or any "resting" places or alternatives to allow our youth the space to do what they came here to do. Time to pull up and get geared up. Our youth need our protection, wisdom and experience. All the pettiness, competition, ousting we do to each other to be picked in THEIR systems takes energy we need to prepare to be the true wall of defense, comfort and strategy for our youth. They are out there and we are mad distracted as a collective.

❤🖤💚

Musing on current affairs

What would they do if we quit the Olympics? Walked away on top? Not play their game? What if we did that with everything? Why do we keep expecting something different? Why don't we come up with something different? Time to reevaluate what "success" really means. This is the micro of the macro.

Full Moon Haiku 7.24.2021

Full moon is crying

My stomach has butterflies

Thunder woke the sun

Musing on making space

have to make solid space for what i love. too much work, too much other folks stuff, makes my head and heart turn to wood. i love/need those moments when it's just about me! hate feeling that some folk just want you well for their own pleasure or need. 

i used to wander. scared my parents to death. i still wander. i always felt it was my right. i was the responsible one. i never decided that! people were always telling me who i was or who i was going to be. i never believed them and i still don't. it may take my entire life but i'm blessed to be forever blooming! my inside self doesn't work on deadlines: it gathers, prepares, senses. my true self knows this is all rehearsal. i trust my own process. until then, i work and work and work. 

musing: sky

the sun is beaming on the left/ a dragoncloud beneath it breathing fire.

Happy birthday, GM (Thelma Tapscott Alford)

We all smile like GM. We miss your soft, sweet ways. The gentleness in your eyes and demeanor. Calm sea in your voice. Brushing your hair into two or four plaits and pinning them to the top of your head. The Blackberry lipstick you wore on special occasions. No one leaves without a piece of fruit from you! How light the rain fell the day you left us. How we laughed! You are still sooooo loved, even by the children that never met you! Happy Birthday, GM.

Full moon release

releasing the past with love. transforming pain into a fountain of possibility. forgiving myself for taking it personally. looking forward to honoring the new self emerging from the chrysalis of experience, time and healing...you ain't seen nothing yet!

Musing

i am not one to be put in place 

even nicely so 

you will never learn a woman 

kicking dirt on her fire

Memory of Morning 6.25.2015

i got up with the thunderstorm. it's been hours...hearing it trickle out now, the birds and a random car or two: morning song toccata and fugue. the sunrise coming in feels like dragonflies escaping my belly.

Musing Memory & Mirror 6.25.2015

The healing process is not always pretty but if you want higher consciousness, more from life, a better you- you have to be willing to let it out and let it go. The truth is you can't give to anyone what you haven't given to yourself first. Just because you did it before doesn't mean you won't have to do it again! Loving yourself as you are (all the parts) takes practice. Accepting where you are doesn't mean that you won't feel crazy peeling layers, surveying your heart and looking in the mirror. I work to accept people as they are even when it is not what I may want or ready to hear. I'm working to love my imperfect self when things don't go my way...for some folk and for some situations, they have a calm sense of acceptance. Some even avoid. sometimes we just have to let the hot tears stream, make some noise and then get quiet. I know it's all ok but first I'm going to allow myself to be human. this has nothing to do with anyone but me. I am strong but I am allowing myself to just BE, no matter how ugly. tomorrow I'll laugh, play and create. I'm tired. Right now, I am gonna just rest and accept everything with love. I admire those who are able to do this effortlessly and I'm blessed to be surrounded by those who prioritize self care. You can't do everything alone, I'm learning. Time to refresh and refuel. Time to get by a pretty tree and listen to some water. Time to listen within with love.

Wants Her Love/punk

Wants Her Love

She's a little woman

but her spirit is tall

The night of their first kiss

was her biggest fall

he thought her fantastic 

but a little too much

but their bodies electric

each time they would touch

goes far and forgets her

comes back to be loved

he doesn;t want to love her

just wants her love

goes far and forgets her

comes back to be loved

doesn't want to love her

just wants her love

he loved her for himself

doesn't see her at all

each time she opens up

he wished he small

she loves him so she forgets

she thinks she'll die without him

even when he leaves for days

she takes him back in

he won't call and he shouldn't

he won't call but she will

whenever he's around, her head is down

she never says what she feels

goes far and forgets her

comes back to be loved 

doesn;t want to love her

just wants her love

goes far and forgets her

comes back to be loved

doesn't want to love her

just wants her love

he loved her for himself

he didn't see her at all

each time she opens up

he wished her small 

she loved him so she forgets

thinks she'll die without him

even when he leaves for days

she takes him back in

he won't call and he shouldn't

he won't call but she will

she pleads, PLEASE DADDY

please Daddy come bring me my fill

goes far and forgets her

comes back to be loved

doesn't want to love her

just wants her love

goes far and forgets her

comes back and be loved

doesn't want to love her

just wants her love

just wants her love

just wants her love

he just wants her love

he wants he wants he wants he wants he wants he wants he wants he wants her love he wants her love

he wants he wants he wants her love

ReplyForward

Nice Girl/punk

Nice Girl

I like you baby

you're nice and strong

you drive me crazy

we get along

then you start judgin

my body's tight

we're disconnected

it don't feel right

you need a nice girl

who's good and tame

sits button lipped

everything's the same

this here's a hot one

got things to say

we're both grown now

i'm here to stay

i ain't changin

i ain't changin

this is me

stop tryna change me

ease up

let me flow

lose control 

let it go

been going on too long

i waited: I'm loyal

this ground is ROUGH

no water on my soil

you need a nice girl

that don't want SHIT

find with breadcrumbs

and a little KISS

see i'm a hot one

with vast desires

if you touch me 

we'd both catch fire

i'm tired of waiting

my heart you're playing

i'm tired of waiting

my heart you're playing

doll on the shelf

try to limit my speech

but i'm a WOMAN

i SAY what i MEAN

you need a nice girl

who sits serene

but for this hot one

there's no in between

i ain't changin

i ain't changin

this is me

stop tryna rearrange me

ease up

let me flow

lose control

let it go

you need a nice girl

who sits serene

but i'm a hot one

I SAY WHAT I MEAN

i ain't changin

i ain't changin

this is me

stop tryna change me

Musing on Summer Solstice 6.21.2021

It was thunder and lightning in spots during the day and endlessly overnight. Big big. I followed the light and watched the show instead of sleeping. I went outside during the breaks between to feel the energy. Blessed summer solstice.

Fathers

Father, as with Mother, is also an action verb. Thank you Creator for my Father. His presence, wisdom, clarity, honesty and love gives me wings. Give thanks for all those who Father! To shift the vibration of all that happens in the world that we can't even fathom and to propel what's good to an even higher place, we are called to come together as community. The family structure is in constant motion. We need the Fathers and Mothers to coexist! I'm grateful everyday for all who Father albeit their biological children, bonus children (no, a man is not a punk or whipped when he steps in where another walked out), school children, neighborhood children, nieces, nephews and even adult children. We NEED your maleness, we need your vision, your strength, your protection, your peace. WE NEED YOU. Look at us. We need you. 

Musing 6.20.2020

Asking and questioning are two different things. We are trained way too well. It's so deeply ingrained, our "so called" forward motion is the biggest trap of them all. It's usually geared to the best and the brightest; those who have survived "your system." We cannot even be liberated alone. Strings and landmines everywhere.

For the ones who see 6.20.2020

They are playing with us. Openly mocking us. The revolution must be televised? Much much double talk in this ENTIRE thing. ALL OF IT. What are WE gaining? They could pull the plug at any minute. Been pulling a lot of them. Never stops.  

Don't allow them to dictate how and when your revolution occurs. There has to be something left that's sacred. Start inside. It'll direct you for sure. You ain't even gonna want to share. Until you do and you will know when and who, too.

open season: story in haiku

open season

handsome/smiling face

decorated in egg shells

release: hard and slow

her smile: so fragile

tears seeping into the cracks

wipes with one quick sweep

tries to remember

when things were light/free/fun

love: open season

she has no regrets

poured it all in one basket

did not see the holes

works on looking soft

pulls the dress over her head

dabs perfume here/there

masked uncertainty

cerebral/haughty/aloof

she does not look down

rides thru like Zorro

picks them/loves them/discards them

broken hearts break hearts.

Insta-ku

tricked by emojis

Keisha thought her life was done

(thinks she's a model)

Muse bout love

The John to my Alice. The Ossie to my Ruby. The Geoffrey to my Carmen. The Malcolm to my Betty.

Goals.

Musing on voting 6.17.2020

Voting shouldn't be like buying rotten meat because it's on sale. Sick of folks saying I'll vote for so and so even if he was laid out on a stretcher, smoking a crack pipe and eating watermelon. If we have to do it, as you say, how do you convince young voters? Some of the same people showing love and appreciation for the youth being on the front lines, are also the same youth you've marginalized, abused, forgotten or ignored. I've even heard some blame the younger folk for bad orange being in office because they didn't vote. It was not. It didn't help. 

What can we promise will change for those who are young with energy, fire, intensity, intelligence, courage that have created their own support systems without us? How do you convince potential voters who have had to address their own needs?

Current administration tactics between the buffoonery act, fine print and real quick says: local government is nothing. Sorcery for his folk. Sorcery on this process. Each city/state has its own needs. Many youth use state programs out of necessity. Draw the line locally to the candidates who will push for what directly affects their community and their WORK. Many of the youth are advocates. They need skills and training. They need the truth and structure, not your ego or God complex or biased adult view. You cannot come in acting as if you know them. Some are advocating for themselves and being killed with no support. How do we best advocate for the new activists?

There have always been grassroots organizations that fight for the common man with little to no resources. Always.  What candidates will provide funding so that these self made organizations can serve and train more people? How will they ensure the constituents have physical, emotional and financial support? If they don't or won't, how do we, on each block, assess the needs ourselves? What can we do block by block? Give the youth something to work with. Seen not heard didn't work on us, why do we expect differently from them? How do we meet in the middle?

Thoughts on Juneteenth 6.17.2020

Can you imagine getting a raise but they still pay you the same as before for two years? All of a sudden, you receive a notice that you were supposed to be paid your raise two years ago. You get the raise but not the time or back pay. How would you feel? Now that is serious capitalism. 

Now imagined if you were stolen, enslaved, separated, packed like sardines in excrement and dead babies amongst dead bodies, some thrown overboard without burial, brought to stolen land, forced to procreate with your own children, whipped, beaten, hung, worked worse than a mule, forced to nurse a foreign child before your own, your own children used as foot warmers, forced against your will to have children that are not your husband's while you are servant and he owns you, your husband and your children. The list goes on. Say you find out their laws finally say you are free. Imagine you look closer at the fine print and find out you were free two years prior. Imagine the same country was built of of the mortgages of your people. Seen as less than human. You. Who come from a great culture. Imagine you still survive and thrive despite it all.  Imagine in the future, they tried to commodify such a deep tragedy,while the gross injustices are still happening. CAPITALISM.  

We claim space to honor this deep INJUSTICE. You have no right to center yourself in this discussion, other than to listen and take in this truth of history. I'm seeing articles that the new "code" for Juneteenth is fighting for racial equality. That's erasure. That absolves how that event and every event before or following has undermined our people. Sit in truth. That's all. It is a day to honor ancestors, our way.

Be human. Learn something. We don't need another holiday. We need some land, arrests made, folk freed, land esp the Black townships you destroyed that go for high prices now, all our art, all our music, all our intellectual property. We will take the arrests for now. #Juneteenth

Haiku at Dawn

the birds are sangin

one sounds sweet: a tambourine

choir at sunrise

Haiku in Open Heart

in between the moon

the eclipse of my feelings

changed its phase and face

Haiku: Secret Love

yr fire my breath

honey in coffee tongued love

i can/not get still

1/12/14

Haiku for Kajali

when i let in love:

lingering layers peel off

i laugh in diamonds!

Haiku

held on way too tight

cuz losin words aint easy

books lost in storage

Haiku on War

you know how it goes:

one side poisons the other

fattens for the kill

Haiku on Peace

when i go inside

fortress sheltered in black gold

no one can touch me

Haiku at 48

my body is soft

like afterbirth: yet it's ripe

i choose to rejoice

Musings from a tired hummingbird.

debunking what YOU think is a free spirited woman...(musings from a tired hummingbird)

1. she is a bum with no goals and wants to ride a unicorn: FALSE (except the unicorn part) she, most likely, is absolutely brilliant, highly evolved and intuitive, comes from a variety of backgrounds, knows exactly what she wants and how she desires to live, is adventurous in her vocation and heart, is calculated in her free spiritedness, is creative in making and budgeting money.
2. she gives love unconditionally, with no boundaries: FALSE. again, she is intuitive. if you are a scratch and dent dude posing like top shelf, she is not fooled. she will find a box for you; see your good qualities and see if there is some sort of benefit or exchange. this could be small or big. she is actually extremely loyal. she will meet you where you are. if you are a king, she will be a true queen elevating all around. if you are only a king in your pants, she will decide if the dance is worth it or if she needs some real good exercise (don't sleep, it ain't really love. we hunt, too). if you are extremely intelligent, handy, know about investments, have a great music or book collection: that is a valid and completely worthy place to distribute love and attention. free spirited women eat knowledge decadent style.
3. if you are a hotep, church boy, control freak, immature or not too right in the head (the kind who separate good and bad girls based on superficial things) you will miss a real jewel of a woman. you cannot play house with her heart or her inbox. how do you feel when you are with her? she is authentically herself. she is her shadow side, too. as nice as she seems, she'll bust a hole into whatever you think you know of her. most free spirited women hold back tongues like machetes. try her. you'll find out. keep your distance or make sure you are truthful. again, she will meet you where you are. everyone has a right to be. a free spirited woman will know your passive agressive attempts are your insecurities and belong only to you. she won't let you clean off on her. she will ride off on that unicorn, to that next man, a good book, a tropical island, a dance floor. yes. free women perform their own exorcisms. a queen can actually stand alone. she may not want to, but she can.
4. free spirited women love hard and quick. not just romantic love. empaths to a core but will regenerate and renew like spring, once burned. ladies, find yourself intimidated by the raw sensuality of a free woman? don't hate. ask questions! we are our sister's keepers, period. we will help you sort a few things on intimacy and self preservation. we can balance our free spiritedness out with a little tradition. fellas, even if you feel you are not enough, treat her like gold. most of us carry wisdom beyond our understanding (that is a woman's true magic). make friends. you do not want us as enemies. trust. we are witches.
5. there is nothing wrong with a woman who knows herself or strives to know herself deeply and completely. she is love personified. she is the divine in her most majestic and powerful form. to quiet, douse, control, berate, misunderstand this energy is to stifle the natural flow of the universe. treat her well and watch everything restore and blossom.

12/3/16 fb post

It was just a wave.

honestly? i have been in the dumps! hard to find joy lately mostly exhausted trying to keep up with myself. i let myself go thru the entire pity party! i did not die! i still showed up for my children (kinda lol the way we show up on the weekend), complained about everything i had to do that wasn't for me ( my children just looked at me like a mental patient and entertained themselves), i wrote that shit ALL THE WAY OUT. every ugly feeling. i cried in my beer on the back balcony (broke but my bills paid yo!) wrote poems that make no damn sense. wore a weird lipstick. i just did not care and let myself be alright with it! 

TODAY: i got up, put henna in my hair, cooked up some veggies and lentils, drinking good tea and about to do my nails. my children acted like nothing happened. Then, to make it more beautiful, there is a new moon in scorpio for this lunar scorpio! IT WAS ONLY A WAVE. I SAY, WHEN IT COMES: RIDE THAT SHIT FULL FORCE. So what my party started in pity! i changed the song and now you can't get me off the dance floor! 

10/30/16 fb post

Musing

i am not the kind of person who tries to get "on." there are some of us who are "art for art's sake" people. we do not fit in. 

the world praises takers. everyone is not comfortable playing the game. my smile, interaction, support or collaboration is not an attempt to be part of some clique. never has been. 

i am a sensualist. i enjoy people but i do not care for how things are done. i frequently resent being forced to be what i am not. so i ain't doing that shit, hear? i will do what makes me happy and walk away from what makes my ass itch. there i said it. i'll be in the corner making art no matter who hears it or sees it. always have. i ain't a novice.

if you fuck with me fine. if you don't, cool. if it's good, i'll still might support. 

i am not as attached as i seem. not as nice either. full of love is not a disease or game. i am sorry some live like that. some folk. 

10/3/16 fb post

Haiku in Half Love

once i loved a man

wanted to split me in two

only liked one side

Reflections on Public Confessions

My heart is heavy. I used to ride the bus with my daughter to school in the morning and come back to start the day. There was a mother openly discussing the molestation of her daughter by her sister's boyfriend. The little girl was seated beside her. She looked about six. The mother was upset at her sister because she went after their mother. She added, to the person she was conversing with, that her mother did not need the stress. Apparently, she had been molested at three by her own father. She said that it's the past, she was over it. Her mother had him locked up; her father apologized because he was sick at the time (abusing alcohol and drugs). The woman's mother apparently took her father back into the house. 

Now, the woman's sister is in the same cycle: she was in the other room while this precious six year old was being touched. The woman made this entire tragedy about her sister not being able to get over abuse that happened 30 years ago. 

The woman's public confession was loud. She was oblivious to the horrified silence of the bus passengers. She was completely unaware that she was humiliating her daughter. I locked eyes with the sad/stone-faced little girl with as much comfort as I could. I held my own daughter's hand tightly.

When are we going to get to the heart of the sicknesses that plague all our communities at large? Can you imagine the countless households who think that this is the norm?

EAT KARMA (12/12/2020)/punk

EAT KARMA 

locked in our homes

while they change the laws

raid the wrong place

shooting rounds thru the walls

confusion and lies

the emperor wears no draws

best to keep us separate

so no one knows the score

went to school to learn

how to best the best

each day brings

a new series of tests

big dirty secrets

no one will confess

leaving the masses in

grand distress

no

you can't move to mars

your money won't protect you

you can't move to mars

you can't pretend to forget

dude

what happens to your neighbor

still affects you

what happens to your neighbor

still affects you

EAT THE RICH

BRING THEM DOWN

BUILD FROM SCRATCH

THE OLD WAY MUST DROWN

EAT THE RICH 

GOBBLE THEM UP

WHAT THE FUCK

THEY'RE KILLING US

you betta go inside

deep inside yourself

you betta find another 

way

to earn your wealth

wanna push a vaccine

but don't wanna push health

you betta bet on yourself

you betta (gotta) bet on self

EAT THE RICH

BRING THEM DOWN

BUILD FROM SCRATCH

THE OLD WAY MUST DROWN

EAT THE RICH

GOBBLE THEM UP

WHAT THE FUCK

THEY'RE KILLING US

dictators & pedophiles

for police states

homeless 

jobless & 

alone

in manic states

war

famine & killing

big dollars at stake

Flint don't have clean water

while you're home

eating steak

CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

DO MY ANCESTORS HAUNT YOU?

HAS THE PROMISE OF KARMA

STARTED TO TAUNT YOU?

what if the people

wake to their power?

would it make all your

evil plans sour?

would you go and hide

in your glass tower?

WHAT IF THE PEOPLE

TAKE BACK THEIR POWER?

CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT?

ARE THE ANCESTORS HAUNTING YOU?

HAS THE THREAT

OF LOOMING KARMA

BEEN TAUNTING YOU?

you won't win against the light!

some of us are scared-

but the rest of us will fight!

uprisings everywhere-

we will restore what's right!

don't sleep

don't sleep

we are up now

we will fight now

don't sleep

don't sleep

we are up now

we will fight now

KARMA IS COMING

TO WASH AWAY THE FILTH

TO RESTORE THE ORDER

TO STRENGTHEN OUR WILL

EAT THE RICH 

AND

BRING THE SYSTEM DOWN

THE OLD WAYS ARE DEAD

MUST DROWN

MUST DROWN

THE PEOPLE ARE IN POWER

NOW.

Full moon in Scorpio/Moon in Scorpio woman

Full moon creeping up

Emotions riding on top

Surging thru my core

True neighborhood story.

tower near my house

hardhat man says no worries

it's everywhere now

his hood aint my hood.

yellow hardhat and shades hiding

unwanted presence

so then i ask him

do you have one this close, too?

*crickets*   then chuckles

moves closer shades off

chesire cat grin/ dirty hands

says i have daughters

i step back a bit

5 alarms ring in my head

he stops. walks away

Haiku. Musing.

why live life in fear

you already know their game

be still and listen

Haiku. Musing.

common sense my friend

says it's being bred out now

wow: few of us left

i'd have wings

made out of hummingbirds  

wear a dress made of vast open winding road 

with a sun setting big/orange 

horizon inviting 

stars 

mysteriously shining 

circling 

that brilliant sun

on my heart 

there'd be a cresent moon pendant

wrists

bracelet upon bracelet 

laden w/ stargazer lilies & orchids 

gently stitched 

ring 

a smoldering fire

hat

 /tilted slightly

coyly peeking eye

bright bird

feathers

walk:

a river 

meeting the ocean mouth