Small Movements

i missed the first step trying not to fall
reserve myself
to small movements

i slide next to him pretending to be cold
sit on my hands even
deliberately quiet trying not to
breathe

he seems so fragile yet i'm aware
how i project
how i shift to fit when things are unclear

i break my fall this time with my hands
try to ruin what i won't get

he devours my space ferociously
thinks i'm still her so
he keeps following me into these rooms

i let him
outta habit

he never saw me: i never let him
says he knows me

i say he never knew when i left