Tapeworm

he agreed to meet for coffee
just coffee
just talking
not too much

tapeworm tethered to my stomach
feeding on my desperate need to touch

we were never supposed to be
he agreed
to meet for coffee

his mouth contorted spilling oil
voice diminuendo
eyes coal cold cloudy dark
disconnected from
love
sloppy disturbing mad immediate wonderfully wild fecund
love

yet he did agree
to meet for coffee
talking quickly like too much silence might cause his countenance to leave residue
lingering of love
of longing

i watch
wait for an opening a glimmer a slight shift to know
we actually did exist

grateful i wore blue
red lipstick

maybe
it was just too soon

my heart:
a four cornered room*



*insert War's, "Four Cornered Room"